In Secret
by GX
Summary: WAFF piece entailing a possible relationship in NGE, post series ending.


I don't really think that someone would sue by not saying this but I'm not taking any chances.  
  
Evangelion is the property of Gainax in agreemement with Starchild Productions. With the American liscenes going to ADV for the TV series and Manga Entertainment contorling the movie rights.(Hope I got everybody)  
  
Before we begin I'd like to point out that this story kinda goes by the TV series ending, I took some liberties though, if you don't like that then just stop reading now.  
  
Is anyone still there? Anybody?  
  
In Secret  
  
7:04.He laid on his bed, looking at the now familiar ceiling for what had seemed like hours. They were gone, he realized that, for the most part the Angels had stopped coming with Kaworu. Why then did he still have to endure those stupid tests? Why couldn't he just be left alone?  
  
That wasn't what he really wanted though. It was true that he didn't want anything to do with those damned tests, that he wanted to forget his father's legacy. It was also true that he had grown accustomed to the people around him.  
  
Misato had been like a mother to him, so it was natural that he did not want to part from her. Ayanami had become like his little sister, since Gendo Ikari's death she had felt lost, if it hadn't been for him and Misato, Rei might very well have taken her own life.  
  
Asuka. Asuka remained Asuka to him, she was still the brash, arrogant, egotist she had always been. This didn't bother him though, people were who they were and he considered it a blessing that the things that he had admired about her had not changed even if other things had.  
  
It was now 7:09. All in all the life of Shinji Ikari had gone better since the aversion of the Third Impact. He was now in his second year of high school. His circle of friends had not gotten larger since his days in junior high, it still just consisted of the ever filming Kensuke Aida and the athletic Touji Suzuhara. Touji had been the recipient of the latest in transplant surgery just a year ago, his arm and leg, which he lost after piloting Evangelion unit-3 turned thirteenth Angel, were now replace with the latest in bioorganic technology. The new limbs were entirely organic, grow from a blood sample he provided and grafted to his body, in truth it was like he had never lost the limbs in the first place.   
  
Though he still lived with her, Asuka was no longer in the same class as him, this made it easier to live together having not been forced to see each other all the time. They didn't see much of each other since they moved. Asuka had become even more popular in high school than before, she was never seen without her entourage of followers, the only one among them Shinji would consider Asuka's friend would be Hikari Horaki, who now spent a considerable amount of time with Touji and thus Shinji. The remains of Nerv had been transferred to Tokyo-2. So had Shinji and his family, Rei had even moved in with them on Misato's insistence.   
  
It was 7:12. He had to get up soon, even though he didn't want to. Rei was probably making breakfast now, as it was her turn. She seemed to enjoy making more traditional breakfasts, they usually consisted of miso, rice and some kind of fish. He was still amazed at how that girl had changed in the past two years, now Rei was an active participant in the floral arranging and traditional dance clubs. She seemed to want to become a nadesico (1).  
  
Shinji himself was part of the track team having been convinced by Touji to join. He enjoyed it though, running gave him a sense of freedom that he had never felt before, it allowed him to see Asuka sometimes too, since she was a part of the spirit club. That reminded him of the meet they were suppose to have in Kyoto next month.  
  
7:15. If he didn't get up now he would miss Rei's breakfast.  
  
"Crap," leaving the safety of his bed, Shinji prepared for the day. Likely by now Misato or Asuka had commandeered the main bath. The house that they occupied now was two stories, with four bedrooms, all but the master bedroom were located on the second floor, a traditional Japanese furo on the first and a smaller western style bathroom on the second floor. Shinji was glad for this, the second bath meant no more 'accidents' since only he used it. Grabbing a towel and his clothes for the day, Shinji was all too well aware of how often he'd been caught to not use this little precaution, he headed for the bath.  
  
By the time he was finished breakfast was ready. Misato sat at the head of the table a beer already in her hand, Asuka was just finishing up and heading out the door saying something about being late for practice. Rei had on the other hand not touched a bite, insisting it was not proper to start without everyone present. Shinji looked at the food as if it were a gift from god, he hadn't realized how hungry he was until just now.   
  
Before he began he took in his surroundings, Misato was still wearing her old cutt-offs saying they were the most comfortable things she had. Rei was wearing a white Kimono with a beautiful black and gray floral pattern. It seemed odd to him that she wear this, Rei certainly was putting all her effort to be a more traditional woman, which seemed sadly out of place in 2017 Japan.  
  
"Good morning Shinji," Misato said in between sips of her beer, she had no longer felt it necessary to inhale her alcohol.  
  
"Good morning Misato, Ayanami," Having finally arrived, Rei deemed it proper begin eating. Shinji noticed that the fish today was kisu, not one of his favorites, but one he liked none the less.  
  
"Shinji," Misato yawned, she still wasn't a morning person, "don't you have practice today too?"  
  
"Not until after school, I have an English language test anyway." He said in between mouthfulls of food.  
  
"Did you study?"  
  
"Yes," he didn't know why she worried over his grades so much, since they had left Tokyo-3 he had done much better in school.  
  
"Ikari?" Rei was still quiet, maybe that was why she seemed so well suited to the traditional life. "We need to leave soon so that we won't be late ourselves." Her internal clock was, as always impeccable, so it wasn't long before they were on their way.  
  
______________________________________  
  
As always along the way they met up with Touji and Kensuke. Both of them knew that Rei had preferred Kimonos over more recent fashions, but their school still required them to wear uniforms.  
  
"Hey Rei," Touji asked pointing at her Kimono, "why are you wearing that to school today?"  
  
"The Dance club is doing it as a sign of spirit, for the baseball team to do well in their game today." This illicit a worried look from the others. "I assure you that we have the permission."  
  
"Oh," Touji looked at her, smiled, then gave her a thumbs up, "as the captain of said baseball team, I'd like to say thanks."  
  
She smiled warmly at him. It was still odd to Shinji, Rei's smile. She had smiled more in that past two years than ever before, slowly she was beginning to open up to the others. With hard work and patience he and Misato finally cracked the ice that surrounded her heart and threatened to end her possibilities in life and destroy her future.  
  
The same could be said of himself, Shinji never had much confidence. He was never as withdrawn as Rei once was, but he still had a hard time trusting others. He had found it unbelievable once when Touji had called him the 'Star of the Track Team' and flat out called Kensuke a liar when he said that Shinji had a his own fan club, which consisted primarily of girls.  
  
"Hey Shinji," Kensuke called out, "us three have something to take care of, you should go on ahead." He found it strange that Rei would have something to do with Touji and Kensuke, but he dismissed the thought as soon as it occurred, besides he had something he needed to do to.  
  
As soon as he was out of sight the three spoke again.  
  
"Is everything ready on your end?" Kensuke said with a conspiratorial grin towards Rei.  
  
"Yes," Rei said evenly, the hint of a smile playing across her lips, "this will definitely be one birthday that Ikari will not forget."  
  
"Now we just need Hikari to do her part." Touji sighed, he really wasn't too Keen on idea, but Rei had seemed pretty insistent, he just hoped that Shinji would be able to compete in the meet in Kyoto.  
  
______________________________________  
  
It seemed harder and lately for Hikari to spend any time with Asuka, her followers always monopolized it. She knew of the importance of getting to talk to Asuka today, knew that a lot rode on it. Try as she might though she seemed doomed to failure. At every turn she was thwarted, when she tried to speak to her before practice, then again after practiced she was brushed off by Asuka's cult. The notes that she slipped Asuka in class never reached her. Even when she tried to talk to Asuka in the bathroom she was noticed by a teacher and asked to help carry some papers. By the time Hikari met up with Rei and the others she was feeling dejected.  
  
"I'm very sorry," Hikari bowed deeply to show the others her shame. "I tried everything I could, but I was unable to talk to Asuka." The early classes were over and since it was Saturday that meant that their only chance to get in contact with Asuka during school was now gone.  
  
"Now what," oddly Touji did not sound as dejected as his girlfriend. Since he was against the idea from the start he felt very relieved.  
  
"Aida," Rei held her hand out, "may I please use your cell phone?"  
  
"Okay," Kensuke was a bit surprised since he knew that Rei had her own cell phone.  
  
Not answering the questions that would come Rei simply held out a piece of paper. The kanji was horrible, but the group could make out enough to read:  
  
Student Junior Exchange seeking someone to Tudor them Kanji in. Call 333-933-8923  
  
"This is her writing," Rei said as she finished her text message. "She might not be able to read this, but it's our best hope of keeping her from interfering now." The message read:  
  
I'll see if I can help you with your kanji, meet me at the park fountain tomorrow at 10:30  
  
"We'll have to assume that she gets this, and proceed as planned." Handing Kensuke his cell phone back Rei headed home with the others. Touji would have to cancel Track practice today, if he was going to see this thing through. Not wanting to face the team he called one of the members from his cell phone.  
  
______________________________________  
  
"Practice is cancelled," one of the team called out after answering his phone.  
  
Though annoyed at Touji, Shinji couldn't really say he mind much. He did mind, however, that he had gotten into his track suit for no reason. He saw a flash of red that made him forget about that and decided to get ready to go home. Walking to the locker room he decided he would not bother showering since he did not work up a sweat of any kind.   
  
As he passed the Janitors closet he felt someone tug at his collar, noticing he was alone Shinji turned around and found himself inside that dark closet.   
  
"Since practice is cancelled this means you're mine for at least an hour," a sultry voice whispered into his ear, the way she spoke and the purring sound she made afterwards left him weak in the knees.  
  
"Let me guess," Shinji said regaining his composure "you're a crazy member of the Ikari fan club?"  
  
"Not just a member," she continued to purr, "More like the Queen."  
  
He smiled in the darkness. "So is your acne as bad as my friend Kensuke says?"  
  
"You idiot, you know I don't have an acne problem," she retorted indignantly. As Shinji turned on the light he saw the pouting look on Asuka's face. She had grown since those days in Tokyo-3, her figure had become more well rounded, in addition her legs grown longer, she still wore her neural interface units that now had almost no purpose other than to hold her hair in place.   
  
He smiled sweetly at Asuka, melting away her annoyance. "It wouldn't matter to me anyway," he said as he cupped her chin in his hands, "there's more to you than your beautiful face. I'd like to think that if anyone could look past it, it would be me." He tilted his head to look into her blue eyes, when exactly did he get that much taller than her?   
  
"So if you woke up tomorrow and found me with one eye, no hair and bad acne, then what would you do?" There seemed to be an amount of desperation in her voice, like she really needed to know the answer, like it really did mean that much to her.  
  
"I'd," as he began he brought his forehead to rest against hers, " give you one of mine, buy you the best wig I could get you and rub Aloe Vera lotion all over you everyday."  
  
"Really?" his breath felt warm against her face. It was reassuring her that they were still together, alone in that room. "You know," her eyes gleamed in a predatory fashion, "that lotion thing doesn't sound so bad, maybe we should give it a try."   
  
"I have some at home," he whispered, "maybe I'll bring it sometime." The nearness was bringing him to an almost unknown state of arousal, just being next to Asuka made Shinji feel a longing for more.  
  
"Sometime," his breath was driving Asuka crazy, the heat emanating from it was forcing her to take control lest she engulf him right there. Then again that was why they were there anyway. Looking into each other's eyes they knew that words would lose all meaning in the next few minutes, that all that mattered was the nearness, and the completion that one offered the other. They drew closer preparing for the bliss that their lips would enwrap them in.  
  
Closer.  
  
Nearer.  
  
They would join.  
  
Then Shinji's phone rang.  
  
"Hello," Shinji said trying his hardest not to curse out the person on the other end.  
  
"Ikari," the other end spoke in a monotone.  
  
"Yes Ayanami?" Asuka couldn't help but suppress an outburst, somehow Wonder Girl was interfering with them even now.  
  
"Okay," Shinji was angry as well. His voice didn't show it but his body did in the way that he hugged Asuka tightly with the arm that wasn't holding his cell phone. "Right, I'll be there in a while."  
  
"Guess that means you need to go home," Asuka was sullen. They had so little time together, between their clubs and hiding their relationship it seemed like every one was out to get them away from each other.   
  
"I said in a while," he smiled. It was a smile that the old Shinji would never have done, one of an animal. Bringing his other arm around her, Shinji began what would be the first of what he hoped would be many loving kisses.  
  
Asuka accepted him then, as he was. This was the Shinji she had come to love, the man who would please himself while pleasing her more. She let her hands rest on his chest as the kiss engulfed them, doing her best to enjoy what precious time they had left to themselves.  
  
______________________________________  
  
Their relationship had never really gone beyond kissing, it was still all too new to them. As Shinji walked home alone he pondered this. He was happy with the way things were working out, even if it weren't longer then a few minutes a day, he cherished the private time he had spent with Asuka. He knew that a few years ago if someone had told him he would be in love with a demon he would probably have hidden in his room for a month, but in the two years that had come since he averted Third Impact things had changed, he had changed.  
  
Shinji thought back, to the event two months ago that had brought him to where he was now.  
  
______________________________________  
  
It would be his turn to compete soon. Shinji was more than a bit worried, he had practiced for the track events before and had actually done well, but this was his first real meet, to say nothing of the first one that his family had attended. He sat on his bench rocking slowly to and fro.  
  
Misato had taken the night off and set aside time to come here a week in advance, Rei was there sitting next to her. Asuka was even there, all be it she sat with her entourage as far away from the others as she could. The thing that worried Shinji the most was Kensuke's camera, the last thing he wanted was to have a record of him failing, it was bad enough that every one he loved was here to see him fail.  
  
"Yo Shinji," Touji called him from their place on the sidelines, "you're up next, you ready?"  
  
"No." He was shaking in fear.  
  
"Come on," Touji teased, he knew how good Shinji, "I've seen you at practice, your really the star of the team."  
  
"This is no time for joking." Shinji had snapped, his fear consuming him.   
  
"Look," Touji sat down next to him, placing his right arm on Shinji's shoulder, "this is no different from practice, now don't give me that look, all you have to do is get from one end of the line to the other," he smiled at Shinji, the toothy grin that meant trouble for so many, "if you just happen to get there first, oh well."  
  
The whistle blew, signaling the next group to take their places. Shinji's resolve quickly set in, he would run, but he wouldn't run away. Taking his place in the line he waited for the signal to start.  
  
From the stands he heard it louder than any other sound, a woman yelling at the top of her lungs, "GO GET THEM SHINJI, BRING HOME THE GOLD!" He wasn't sure if Misato was drunk or not, but he was still embarrassed, he wouldn't let them down and he wouldn't quit.  
  
More feeling the signal shot than hearing it Shinji took off running. He wasn't doing to bad either, less than half a length behind first place, but second would not do, he didn't want to have Asuka teasing him for the rest of his school career. Soon the finish line would be upon them, so he would have to pick up the pace. Shinji began running without abandon, as fast as his legs would take him, he didn't even notice passing the other runners and barely registered the feel of the tape across his waste. In truth he had run an extra six meters before he had realized that the race was over and that he was the winner.  
  
When the meet ended there was only one thought running through Shinji's mind, he needed some air. Misato and the others wanted to meet him afterwards and have a victory celebration. He didn't decline, but insisted he have some time alone beforehand. As he walked alone in the streets he thought of his father. The anger left when he had died, replaced by what he thought was sadness. Sadness at never having know him.  
  
He probably would have given it more thought had he not heard two people arguing off in the distance.  
  
"I told you to leave me alone!" the voice was familiar, he had hear that yelling tone so often. About two years ago.  
  
"But I'm saying it's fate that we be together." he knew that voice also. It belonged to Aki Mikage, the most popular boy in school.  
  
"You sick idiot, leave me alone," he heard a curse in some language he was familiar in and knew who it was there and then.  
  
He could see them now and there was no doubt in his mind that this was Aki forcing himself onto Asuka. Rage the likes of which he had never felt now boiled within Shinji, the way Aki had grabbed Asuka's wrist and was holding her told Shinji all he needed. Asuka did not want to be there.   
  
"If you can't see it on your own, I'll make you see it." He then tried to force his lips on her.  
  
Shinji couldn't really remember how many times he had gone over the edge, certainly there had been those times when he was an Eva pilot, but those had been born of his survival instincts. This was what ever the cause one of those times. As Aki leaned in to kiss the frightened Asuka he felt a different sensation on his lips, this one was certainly not as pleasant as the one he had been hoping for. The fist that Shinji had sent to meet Aki's face hit true to it's mark, sending the boy reeling, breaking the grip he had on Asuka's wrist.  
  
Aki was only momentarily stunned, as he soon recovered. The boy seemed insane, his eyes glazed over as his face held an animal's rage. "No one will keep me from what is mine." He said as he charged Shinji.  
  
Shinji then found himself locked in a battle he was losing, Aki seemed to have a demon's strength. He quickly found himself on the defensive. Then trying to simply survive as Aki's hands were wrapped around his throat. Shinji, even though his he was being choked, was doing his best to pummel the other boy's gut, but as his air supply was running out his fists were losing their strength. As he felt his life force ebbing the only thing he could think of was saving Asuka.  
  
Shinji was not surprised by what had happened next, Aki suddenly felt the urge to get to know the ground better when he slumped down to the it, loosening his grip on Shinji's throat. When Shinji's eyes regained focus he saw Asuka standing over him, her eyes wet with tears, her breathing heavy, she had used Shinji as a distraction and knocked Aki out by hitting an artery in his neck.  
  
"You idiot," she cried, "what did you think you were doing?"  
  
He looked at her then, for the first time in nearly two years he looked at her. He saw the angry look of concern that played on her face, noticed the tears that she fought to hold back, the ragged breathing that escaped her body. Shinji was ashamed there for two reasons, the first was letting his mind wander at a time like this, the second for not noticing Asuka sooner.  
  
"I was just trying to protect you." There was no betrayal in his voice, he hid his feelings as best a he could.  
  
"I didn't need you to."  
  
"I could see that." There was a slight smirk on his face, a look that had somehow taken all the fight out of Asuka. Resigned she held out her hand to help him off the ground. Something happened then when she touched his hand, electricity shot through her as she felt his grip. She took the time to look at him, really look at him. Gone was the frail boy that apologized for whatever went wrong.   
  
When her other hand touched his chest she noticed how his muscles had developed from running on the track team. Asuka did something then that she had thought she would only do in Kaji's arms before he died. She melted. When she felt his arms begin to wrap around her she started to cry again, only this time they were tears of relief. She hated crying, but she couldn't make herself hate Shinji, the source of her tears.  
  
"Idiot," she whispered into his chest, "why did you make me cry, when you know I hate to?" Shinji wouldn't speak, he just looked into her eyes, as she looked back.   
  
Finally after an eternity of waiting he said, "I'm sorry," as he kissed her.  
  
______________________________________  
  
It was later discovered that Aki was taking a new type of anabolic steroid, he was then taken to Juvenile court where he would serve out his time.  
  
Asuka had asked that they keep their relationship a secret from the others, she wanted to keep it very private. Shinji understood knowing all too well how Kensuke and Touji liked to tease him about those things. He had worried that there had been more to it though, Asuka was the kind of person who would show off everything to anybody. He didn't care, Asuka's eyes told him all he needed to know. She loved him with a devotion that could not be hidden, it was part of the reason that they had seen less of each other around the house, had Rei or Misato seen they would have known on the spot.  
  
All though not the center of it, Shinji had to admit that the secrecy had add a lot more fun to their relationship. Looking at the familiar scenery he realized that he was soon home. Asuka had somethings to do with her friends and he knew she wouldn't be there. Shinji wasn't surprised however to see that everyone else was there. He was surprised to see signs all over the house that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' and was even more surprised to hear the same thing come from the mouths of everyone there. Of course Shinji was surprised, but he could have sworn his birthday wasn't until tomorrow.   
  
"Thank you," he smiled at everyone, "but my birthday isn't until tomorrow."  
  
"Well it's not a surprise if you're expecting it now is it?" Misato chimed, "Besides everyone's here so we might as well enjoy ourselves." Shinji knew better than to second guess Misato, she still after all had the glare that could turn him to stone.   
  
"Well I guess we should just have fun today." The party quickly got under way as the group celebrated. Shinji used to hate his birthday, it would just bring up troubled memories from his past. This was the same. There was one difference however, this time he had the smiles of everyone to give him strength.   
  
The party was quit enjoyable even without the company of certain people. Shinji had recieved a host of presents from everyone, Rei had gone out of her way and made him a traditional yukata for when he was finished with his bath. Kensuke had gotten him the latest fighting game for his game system, Fighting Son-in-Law IV. HIkari and Touji had opted to split the expense and got him the shared gift of and expensive brand of cologne, saying he would need it later. Misato had however given him the best present, a get-out-of-school free card, that she said was useable after next week. His mind suddenly wandered to what Asuka would give him, but that was short lived as Misato announced that he would recieve the biggest gift tomorrow.   
  
"A date," she slurred, apparently Misato had to much to drink during the party. "We got you an honest to god date."  
  
"M-Misato," he stuttered, fellling very glad that Asuka wasn't here. She would kill him if she knew about this, "I don't think that would be a very good idea."  
  
"Why not?" The last thing he needed was for Rei to jump in against him. "There have been many girls asking me about you since your debut at the track meet."  
  
"I just don't think a blind date would work." He needed a good excuse and fast, or else it would interfere with his real plans.  
  
"Shinji," Kensuke talked behind him, speaking like a ghost from the beyond, "don't tell me you already have plans." He couldn't say that, all the people he hung out with in the world were there, except one.  
  
"I just," he had to think of something no matter how lame it seemed, "I think I'm not feeling well enough for a date." That was too lame.  
  
"Oh no," Misato cried as she came over to Shinji ,checking his tempurature. She hid her eyes under her long hair, "You're burning up," she cried. "The only thing I can think of saying is," suddenly Shinji learned why her glare still held it's effectiveness even after all this time, "you're going."  
  
He was defeated, he knew that, he couldn't deny Misato. Nor could he keep this from Asuka, she had told him to expect a great time, but now that was out of the question. Defeated, deflated all he could muster saying was "yes, ma'am." Asuka was going to kill him.  
  
______________________________________  
  
It was about 3:30 in the morning, yet Shinji still couldn't sleep. More than about her wrath, Shinji worried about Asuka's feelings, if she wanted to keep what they had a secret she would have to allow him to go on this date.  
  
Maybe he could keep it a secret from her. No, he wouldn't do that. Shinji knew how fragile Asuka's trust could be, if she saw him with this date she may never forgive him.  
  
The door to his room opened. Shinji knew that it would appear suspicious to roll onto his side, so he maintained his current position, just closing his eyes. It was still very late and he wondered who it could be.  
  
"I know you're not asleep," it couldn't be? Just as his mind pondered the possibility the door shut and he felt a familiar warmth climb over him as it removed his blanket.  
  
"What are you doing Asuka?" he whispered, despite it being very early in the morning he did not want to risk waking Rei who was sleeping in the room right next to his. There wasn't much talking for the next few minutes as she greeted him with a warm kiss.  
  
"Can't I come to see my boyfriend in the middle of the night?" She asked when the kiss was finally over.  
  
"I just thought that we weren't supposed to do this kind of thing with the others here." She looked at him, with doe eyes, in a semblance of mock hurting. "That was your rule anyway."  
  
"Yea," she whispered as she laid on his chest, "but how often does your birthday come along. besides I wanted to be the first to give you your present."  
  
"Which would be?" He asked hesitantly, not really wanting to know.  
  
"You're looking at her."  
  
"You know," Shinji smiled wryly, "you're not the first person to give me my present."  
  
"What?" Apparently Asuka didn't like this, if her tone was any indication.  
  
"Everyone has already given me my present," he had to do it now, even if it meant sleeping alone tonight, "they got me a date." Though he was no longer the crybaby he once was, Shinji's words did come out very meekly.  
  
"A what?" Asuka seemed to have taken quite a liking to the word what tonight.  
  
"I couldn't come up with a good reason not to, then Misato gave me that look." There was an exasperated sigh. That was a good sign, it meant that Shinji would live to see his eighteenth birthday.  
  
"What do you plan on doing?" She looked into his eyes from atop his chest.  
  
"I have to go on with it," he pleaded, "if I don't the others may get suspicious."  
  
"Well I guess we have no choice," Asuka tried to look at the bright side of the situation, "that reminds me, I got a message on my phone. Someone who's willing to teach me kanji wants to meet tomorrow."  
  
"I could still teach you if you wanted me to."  
  
"You can't, if someone finds out then it could lead back to us being together."  
  
"Would that really be so bad?" It had taken him two months to ask, but he felt that he needed to know now. "I don't care what everyone thinks, I just want to be with you."  
  
"Shinji," her voice quivered, it was clear that she still didn't want to talk about it, "please, I just don't want everyone to know yet. I'm not ready." He wanted to yell, to cry to the heavens why not? but he did neither of these things. The way she spoke, the look in her eyes, all he could do was hug her tighter. This frail girl who was so near tears in his arms, he couldn't, wouldn't bring himself to cause her any pain. Suddenly then Shinji felt very tired.  
  
"Hey," he whispered into her hair, "could we just go to sleep now?"  
  
"Pervert," she whispered back into his chest, "that's all I planned on doing tonight."  
  
______________________________________  
  
Asuka was able to leave that night without incident, but has Shinji woke up he felt like crap. Sitting on his bed he pondered, he had not wanted to this, if it were up to him he would have grabbed Asuka in front of everyone and said "I already have someone I love." She had said that she was okay with it, but Shinji knew better. The girl had put on her brave mask and encouraged him on.  
  
That more than anything, saddened him. He had wanted her to be herself around him, but tonight Asuka wore a mask. Every time she had was like a punch to the gut, made him wonder if she really knew how much he had loved her. Hadn't he ever told her?  
  
It occurred to him then that in the two months they had been together, he never once told her simply that he loved her. It also occurred to him that she had not said it either. A doubt, something of the old Shinji, crept into his mind then, 'if she never said it did that mean she never felt it?'  
  
He tried his best to dispel that doubt, feel confident in the emotion that Asuka had instilled on him, 'but was it love.' Doubts one after the other crept into his mind, was she lying to him? Did She really care? It all became to much for Shinji, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he knew not to. He would be sure tonight, whether or not the date went on as planned, tonight he would be sure if Asuka loved him.  
  
"Ikari," there was a knock at his door, "you need to get up soon."  
  
"Right," it was a good thing Ayanami's voice woke him from his musings, "I'll be down in a bit."  
  
Shinji didn't know how he should dress for the date so he went with something casual. He wore a green button shirt open, with a plain white shirt underneath, wore gray jeans and black sneakers. Since he didn't plan on anything formal for a first blind date that he didn't want to follow up on. The only people in the house now, he noticed walking down the stairs, were Misato in her usual morning attire and Rei, wearing a Blue and white Kimono. As he left he asked Rei for some particulars about his date.  
  
"So what's her name? How does she know me? How will I know her?"  
  
"You will learn when you get there." That reminded him of another question.  
  
"Where am I meeting her?"  
  
"At the park in front of the fountain, you'd better hurry you only have thirty minutes before you're late."  
  
"What about Touji and the others?"   
  
"They will not be a problem. I have assured that they will not interfere."  
  
"You what?" Mentioning this conjured up some strange images of Ayanami brandishing a whip, her heel on top of a cage holding Touji and everyone as she laughed maniacally.  
  
"In any event," she smiled brightly at him, "you will know her when you see her."  
  
______________________________________  
  
It was about the time that Asuka arrived at the fountain that she realize it. Who ever had left her the message had not said anything more that to meet there. A worry crept into her mind, could it be someone who knew her from when she fought the Angels? That was however, impossible. Since the aversion of Third Impact all records on the five children concerning Instrumentality and it's many facets were erased. Asuka had stayed in Japan at Misato's urging stating that she would be safer. This was part of the reason Asuka was still in school, her college records having been erased as well to help cover her up and with her horrid understanding of Kanji she played her new role well.  
  
10:30 exactly. It was at this time she saw him, Shinji Ikari. He looked incredibly handsome today, like one of those models from Misato's fashion magazines. She couldn't dwell on it though, as she knew that the date would undoubtedly be there soon. Making herself scarce Asuka quickly found a hiding place and watched.  
  
Shinji stood there for a good ten minutes waiting. Oddly this infuriated Asuka. If she's going to go out with him she could at least be on time. Her murderous musings were put on hold when she finally saw his date.  
  
Ushio Shimabara one of her own friends from school. This was the blind date. It then came as no surprise to her, most of the time when Ushio spoke it was about Shinji. Between her, Momiji Fujimiya and Satsuki Yatouji was the most devoted sect of the Shinji Ikari fan club. She saw them exchange a few words, then laugh, after that she produced two tickets from her purse and they were then off.   
  
It was then that she decided to take Shinji up, finally, on his offer to teach her some more Kanji. Right now in fact, for she would need it for her next test. So the girl decided to hurry up and get him, but part of her wonder how he would handle such an intrusion out of the blue. Using what she thought of as her better judgment, Asuka resolved to follow the two.  
  
She reached a dead stop when they arrived at the Tokyo-2 Stadium. Asuka realized then that this must have been what the tickets were for. Here the singer Maaya Sakamoto(2) was playing to a sold out house, she would have to devise some other method of entering the concert hall.  
  
An idea soon came to her, it would require all of her abilities to do it, but it was her best plan. As she entered the hall one of the ticket takers came to her. Upon asking her for her ticket, Asuka first tried to search it out. Realizing that she didn't have a ticket, the clerk called for security. Asuka then proceeded to make as much noise as possible, screaming how her ticket must have been stolen and that she had been waiting her whole life to see the concert. However the bouncers did not buy her story as she was promptly kicked out, looking, she realized, like a complete ass. Her only consolation was that Shinji had already entered and not seen her.  
  
______________________________________  
  
An alley. Not more than two blocks away from the concert Asuka had found herself alone, sulking in an alley. As alley's go this one was not a particularly clean one, garbage cans and dumpster bins made the area's aroma less than palatable. There was steady streams of run off water flowing from the various dumpsters into a nearby drainage ditch. All in all the alley looked and smelled how she had felt. Like crap.  
  
Asuka stood somewhere near the center of that alley, her forehead leaning against the concrete walls. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was scared, scared of losing him. Ushio was a nice girl, sweet and a good listener. She was also a very devoted person, one only need meet her sisters to truly understand that. She would treat Shinji well... be there for him... openly admit her feelings...  
  
Again Asuka felt a familiar burning sensation in her eyes, had she really lost him so easily. Silently she cursed herself for allowing him, for that was exactly what she had done, to go on with this blind date. Slowly Asuka felt the welling in her eyes release as she felt a cool breeze caress her face in certain places. There was no mistake, she was crying again. Again she felt herself unable to hate the source of that hated response. No matter what, she could never hate him.  
  
"Asuka," the quiet voice called to her, she knew who it was in an instant. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yea," she lied, doing her best to discretely get rid of her remaining tears. "What are you doing here Ayanami?"  
  
"Wondering what you are doing here," her response was strangely innocent. "Was it perhaps because you could not go to the Maaya Sakamoto concert?"  
  
"Something like that," she smiled sadly thinking that Shinji was probably having the time of his life.  
  
"Here," from the folds of her kimono, Rei produced a single ticket. "You can go in my place, Miss Misato gave me this ticket saying I needed to get out of the house more." There was that smile again, "in truth I am more of a fan of Megumi Hayashibara, so it would not bother me if you took it instead."  
  
"Rei?" Asuka did her best not to let Rei see her emotion, "thanks, I'll make good use of it."  
  
"I trust you will." It wasn't until some time after their exchange that she noticed something odd.  
  
Rei had refered to her by her given name.  
  
______________________________________  
  
Shinji tried his best to enjoy the concert, the voice of this one particular singer had not lost it's passion in the years following Second Impact, if anything she had become more soulful. It was hard however as every two minutes or so miss Shimabara felt it absolutely necessary to wrap her arms around his and say how wonderful everything was. He missed Asuka's company more than once that time, Ushio was a nice girl, but too cheery for him. He felt that she was crowding him, the crowd of onlookers themselves were making him uncomfortable. He needed some air, now.  
  
"Miss Shimabara," he ventured, "I'm going to the concession stand, do you want anything?" She politely declined saying something about a diet, he could not hear her as the crowd applauded at the end of the set.  
  
From about six or seven rows back Asuka saw her chance, when Shinji left, she quickly followed suit. She had a hard time trying to find him in the crowds, beginning to worry as she knew just how much Shinji liked crowds. Asuka found him at a food stand quite a ways away from their seats. Gathering up her confidence Asuka walked over to where he waited in line.  
  
"Hey," she spoke barely above a whisper. This was however enough, as Shinji almost did a double take when he saw her.  
  
"Asuka," he fought as best he could to not take her in his arms and run as fast as his legs would go. He did however take her to a more private location so that they could talk in peace. "Why are you here?" Although he had brightened up there was still an edge in his voice.  
  
"I wanted to see you." She tried, but Asuka could not bring herself to look into his eyes, "I followed you here. Once I saw how big the crowd was I started to worry, I know how much you hate them."  
  
"Why did you follow me?" The unspoken question of 'don't you trust me?' apparent in his voice.  
  
"I was scared," her voice once again going low, "I didn't want to lose you." Asuka grabbed him, desperation in her voice as for the first time she wished she was crying, hoping that she would somehow sound less pathetic. The tears didn't come and it made her voice sound strangely numb. "I'm sorry I asked you to go through with this, but I didn't want anyone to find out about us. I still don't, but Shinji," she looked into his eyes now, her own blues ones looking like shimmering crystal lakes, "that doesn't mean that I love you any less."  
  
"What did you say just now?" The boy had heard her clear enough, but it could have been his imagination, had she really said it? Did she finally do it?  
  
"I said I love you." He held her tight now, so close that she could not see his face as she pressed against his chest. Asuka felt it then, the tears that were welling up had finally let loose. Or Had they? It was true that she had felt warm tears run down her cheek, but it was also true that she did not feel them coming from her own eyes. "Shinji," she whispered disbelievingly. This only prompted him to hold her tighter, his tears continuing to fall silently.  
  
"Please," he asked, "let me just stay like this a while longer." At this Asuka complied wordlessly. They held each other for quite a while, not saying or doing anything else. It was Shinji who first broke the silence, quietly saying, "I love you Asuka, did you know that?"  
  
"Idiot," she replied in a low voice, "I've always known."  
  
"I should get back now." Shinji said after another long meaningful silence. "Ushio might be wondering."  
  
"Can we stay together like this, just a little longer?" They did that for the length of one song, it was an older song, one that was used in an old anime, but Shinji recognized it. The name of the song was 'Tune the Rainbow' and somehow it, fit especially that first verse.  
  
kimi ga nagasu namida nuguu tame dake ni boku wa koko ni iru yo  
  
ame agari ga kirei na you ni nakeba kokoro sukitooru  
  
(Translation courtesy of Animelyrics.com)  
  
I will stay here, only for the sake of drying your flowing tears  
  
As beautiful as the rain letting up, your tears make your heart transparent(3)  
  
*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`  
  
1. In Japan nadesico had two meanings from my understanding, the first is a type of flower, the other meaning is loosely translated to mean the traditional demur woman, kinda like the way Aoi Sakuraba from Ai Yori Aoshi behaves. I have no idea what promted me to give Rei this kind of look, but it seemes fitting. She's always been the most reserved and adult of them.  
  
2. I had to do it for two reasons, the first being that since this IS in Japan they would probably have concerts featuring Japanese singers. The second being a form of nepotism, she's my favorite Japanese singer/voice actress for crying out loud.  
  
3. I'm sure some of you think I'm invoking the devil here by using a song from RahXephon, which many think of as the cheap rip-off of Evangelion, but I think it fits. Coincidentally I happen to like RahXephon, and I think the similarities between the two are minimal at best.  
  
This thing has been sitting in my harddrive for about three months, I reached a dead stop so I decided to bring it in. There are still a couple of places I can go from here but the main point has been reached, thanks for reading you know where to send your reviews to. Also 20 brownie points and special COE surprise for anyone who could guess the Shinji Ikari fanclub references  
  
Ryuhiko@hotmail.com  
  
I'm going to get back to Continuation of Evangelion now. 


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